


The War Within

by MistoElectra



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputee, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Awesome Phasma, Bartender Kylo Ren, Disabled Character, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Millicent the cat - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Phasma Ships It, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rey Skywalker, everything is gay but it still hurts, fitness instructor rey, phasma is everyone's best friend, soldier phasma, solo family shenanigans, veteran hux
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-17 15:29:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistoElectra/pseuds/MistoElectra
Summary: This time however, she wasn’t alone, being followed by a somewhat reluctant looking redhead man that Kylo had never seen before. He was tall, but not so much as Phasma or even Kylo himself probably, and lean, and while he seemed to walk with a vague limp, his posture and countenance had Kylo immediately pegging him as a military man. Hell, he’d been around them all his life, he could spot them from a mile off, and this guy was practically textbook. Back ramrod straight, not a hair or button out of place, and that familiar look in his eye.He also looked like he’d really rather be anywhere else.-----------------------------Kylo Ren owns and bar-tends his bar/diner The First Order. Hux is a British Army veteran new to the US. Their mutual friend Phasma introduces them. Somewhere along the line, something develops.





	1. First Meeting

The First Order was quiet.

Then again, it was that awkward period of time between lunch and dinner, too early for people to come in to merely begin drinking, but not quite an appropriate time for a meal either. The main occupants were some regulars, a few harried businessmen sipping coffee and studying laptops, and a couple of kids rallying around the small games area that had been installed a few months back and was proving to be a lucrative investment. Quite frankly, the afternoon was dragging, the clock above the bar ticking sluggishly and the summer heat was crawling in through the open door. As it was, Kylo was pretty sure he’d dried the same glass at least five times in the past hour just for something to do and he’d allowed Amaro to duck into the back to get some summer school work done. Better for the kid to actually get something useful done than stand around staring into space and maybe this way he might actually graduate high school this time around. Not that Kylo minded having him work in the place, he was a hard worker and pretty good at handling whatever was thrown at him, but still, it was the principle of the thing.

There’d be a rush in a few hours time, he knew, but by then Amaro would be back out on the bar, and some of the other staff would be in to cover everything. They’d turn a decent trade and the majority of customers would be out by eleven. The rest would be kicked out by one and then he’d get to shut up shop and go home. It was the same, day in, day out, but he liked the rhythm of it, was used to it. Plus, he had ventures here and there to spice things up, writing, or photography of an event of some sort, or on some quiet nights he’d even dig out his guitar and play a few songs in the corner. Little things, but he could at least honestly say he was enjoying himself. He was content, almost. And if he occasionally took great pleasure in kicking assholes out of his bar, well, that was his own business. Granted, most nearly shit themselves when they saw his bulk- he kept himself in good condition, if nothing else- but there was always one who would be too drunk and think they could take him. He relished those moments.

But of course, there were also moments like this, stagnant, dull, dry. Boring, really. Still, he wouldn’t trade his life. No, he was quite happy with his life, no matter how many times his mother might try and suggest he try something else. Each time he always responded with the fact that he was running a business, and really, she should be happy about that. He’d worked damn hard on the place, changed it from what had been quite frankly a rather seedy bar into a considerably better establishment. It had taken some time, but now The First Order had built itself up into a reputable business, frequented by many of the locals and tourists alike.

The sound of footsteps broke him from his reverie, and he looked up, only to spot a familiar blonde coming through the door. He’d known Phasma for going on three years now and she was a frequent visitor to his little establishment, sometimes even assisting him in throwing out unruly patrons, because while Kylo was tall, Phasma was even taller and she was also scary as hell. Of course, it also helped that she was a captain in the military. Although that did mean that he missed out on her company for months at a time when she was deployed, nevertheless, it was nice to have her around when she was there. A friend…yeah, he’d call her a friend.

This time however, she wasn’t alone, being followed by a somewhat reluctant looking redhead man that Kylo had never seen before. He was tall, but not so much as Phasma or even Kylo himself probably, and lean, and while he seemed to walk with a vague limp, his posture and countenance had Kylo immediately pegging him as a military man. Hell, he’d been around them all his life, he could spot them from a mile off, and this guy was practically textbook. Back ramrod straight, not a hair or button out of place, and that familiar look in his eye.

He also looked like he’d really rather be anywhere else.

“Amaro,” he called out the back, “Watch the register.”

Once the teen had slumped out of his hiding place, Kylo put the glass in hand away and slung the drying cloth over his shoulder, sidling out from behind the bar and across to the booth where the two had situated themselves, Phasma casually spreading herself across her entire side, while her companion was sitting comparably more primly, back and shoulders still stiff, with his hands clasped neatly in his lap, nodding along politely to whatever it was she was saying.

“I doubt I need to ask what you want, but for the sake of habit I will anyway.”

His voice made Phasma look up, a devilish grin coming across her face and then the next thing he knew he was effectively being crushed into a hug, accompanied by a light punch on the shoulder as she settled back into the booth.

“It’s nice to see you again too Kylo. I’m fine, thanks for asking,” she snarked, rolling her eyes but he knew well enough that it was in affection. After all, they spent at least half their conversations insulting each other, so this was practically tame in comparison, “But as you’re asking, yes, I’ll have my usual. Two actually, Hux will take the same as me.”

Hux, huh. So that was the guy’s name. Not a common surname, certainly not one that he was familiar with, but then again, it wasn’t like he made a habit of befriending customers. The redhead seemed to startle at the statement though and opened his mouth to protest, only to close it again, silenced by a pointed glare from Phasma. He looked slightly irritated at that, lip curled a tad and a shift away from actual goddamn pouting but he seemed to restrain himself in that regard.

“I can order for myself,” he could hear the man mumble almost petulantly and it took all his self-control to bite back a snort at that. Phasma merely rolled her eyes again, and Kylo could recognise the expression she often wore when she was dealing with him. He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or offended.

“I’m aware of that, but given I know the menu and you don’t, and I’m also aware of your tastes, it’s quicker on both parts if I do it rather than have you faff over the menu for twenty minutes. If you recall, I’ve bore witness to you actually getting a decent choice over food as opposed to standard rations. You take an age.”

Her words were calm but firm, and her companion could do nothing but make a slightly begrudging huff of acknowledgement, pursing his lips in brief annoyance. Nonetheless, Kylo was glad to see that he didn’t seem to be actually angry at her, and also pleased that his initial assessment of military had been right. The accent though had been unexpected, not dissimilar to Phasma’s own, crisp and clean cut and sounding like something out of Downton Abbey. Idly he found himself wondering if the guy was British military or if, like Phasma, he was merely British but in the US forces.

“Well, I’ll get that sorted for you. Holler if you need anything else, we’re not exactly busy yet,” he smirked, flicking the dish cloth at her mischievously before darting back to safety behind the bar. The look on her face told him he was safe for now, but there would be retribution for his act later no doubt. Hux, for his part, just looked slightly baffled at the whole affair.

As he put the order through to the back and waited for it to be ready, he found his attention drifting repeatedly back to the pair. It seemed to be Phasma doing the talking for the most part, although he couldn’t hear the topic of conversation from the bar, only the vague noise. Every now and again, when it seemed like Hux had zoned out, she would lower her voice and say something softly to him, and whatever it was would seem to bring him back to reality, looking vaguely sheepish and still as uncomfortable as before. Every now and again, his hand would rub momentarily at his right leg, like some sort of nervous tic.

Before long though their order was ready and he pushed off the people watching in lieu of grabbing the tray and carrying it over. Usually he didn’t bus the tables, but he was willing to make the exception on this occasion, even if it might earn him a dig from Phasma.

“Two cheese pizzas with fries, and two coffees, black and bitter as my own heart,” he called out in a sing song voice as he made his way over to the booth, disturbing whatever the topic of conversation had been. Whatever it was, Hux seemed slightly relieved to have it cut off and was blinking up at him. That baffled look was back, presumably due to Kylo’s own declaration, but it was a habit he had with Phasma, and she chuckled at his words before all but clamouring for the food.

“Oh, by the way, Hux, this is Kylo, he runs this place and plays a mean game of darts. Kylo, this is Hux. Old army friend, he was on my first tour with me.”

British military then.

“Nice to meet you,” Hux nodded politely, still stiff and formal, and Kylo was beginning to wonder if the man ever relaxed any more than a basic slumping of the shoulders. He was practically the opposite of Phasma, who seemed more than content to just drape herself across the table, already beginning to all but inhale the pizza. And yet they had to be good friends, if they’d kept in touch over that amount of years. Or maybe they’d reunited on Phasma’s recent tour. Either way, despite his curiosity, he wasn’t going to pry, not yet anyway. Later perhaps, when he got Phasma on her own, he’d make her spill the details then, but for now he contented himself with a friendly nod in response.

“You too.”

As he turned to head back towards the bar to let them eat in peace, he felt the hook of a foot around his ankle, making him stumble and nearly drop the empty tray. Glancing over his shoulder, he scowled in response to Phasma’s smirk and couldn’t help but notice that Hux was staring at the pizza as if he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it. Huffing slightly, he stalked behind the bar again, settling for wiping it down for the fifth time that hour and idly watching the pair again. After all, they were easily the most exciting thing in the place. After a moment, and a rather loud statement from Phasma of “You’re not going to eat pizza with a knife and fork, just use your hands Hux, you’re not in barracks” which earned a slight flinch and a mumbled apology, the two seemed to quieten as they ate, with little other than a passing comment here and there. Even then, Hux seemed to eat delicately, half nibbling at the pizza in comparison to Phasma who was scarfing it down and who even briefly sent him a thumbs up of appreciation across the room. After a while, he even noted that she seemed to be stealing some of Hux’s fries, although he either didn’t notice (unlikely) or didn’t mind (more likely), given his lack of response to it and the fact that he didn’t seem to have much of an appetite judging by the half-finished meal when Kylo went to collect the plates.

“Everything okay for you two?” he asked, balancing one plate on his forearm as he moved to retrieve the other, looking back and forth between the pair. The brief concerned look that Phasma flashed at Hux didn’t go unnoticed by him, but Hux just shook his head, dismissing it, and so he pushed that aside in his mind to contemplate at a later point.

“Delicious as usual. Just the bill now though, no dessert. I’m bringing Hux to an appointment so we can’t linger too long.”

This time it was Hux flashing a look at Phasma, one of irritation that was clearly asking why she would bring the topic up, but she shrugged it off and instead shot him a glare as he began to take out his wallet, halting him in the action.

“Oh no. Put that away. I’m paying for this. My treat. Call it a ‘Welcome to California’ treat, if you will, but I swear to god, if you try and pay I will break your arm.”

Hux did the clever thing and immediately put his wallet away and Kylo was glad that they’d managed to avoid the wrath of Phasma. It was never a pretty sight, and the fact that he was well aware that she was capable of breaking someone’s arm added to his list of reasons of why to never get on her bad side. At least this guy seemed to have some self-preservation instincts in that regard. True enough, Phasma settled the bill and bid him a quick goodbye, ushering the redhead out. He couldn’t help but notice the limp again and wonders what sort of appointment she was bringing the man to. Judging by her phrasing, he’d moved to the US, but that didn’t give Kylo any further clue to whether the man was planning on joining the US forces, or if he’d retired from military life. He noted to himself to inquire about it later, but for now, he’d have to make do with his curiosity. And more pressingly?

The late afternoon rush.


	2. A Quiet Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heatwave hits. Kylo and Phasma talk. In the process, he learns a little bit more about the new redhead.

Over the few weeks that followed, the summer heat only seemed to increase, a sort of drowsiness hanging around The First Order most afternoons, and on more than one occasion Kylo had considered dunking his head in a bucket of ice. Propriety had sadly won out thus far on that one, but he wasn’t ruling it out completely just yet. Certainly, if temperatures climbed any higher it would seem like the preferable option. True, he was used to heat, he’d been born and raised here, but it was hot, even for him. As such, he’d had to make sure to keep well stocked up on ice cream as it was easily the best seller so far. Even with the air conditioning on full blast, residual heat still lingered after a while, just enough to be slightly uncomfortable. He could have had it worse, he supposed. At least the AC worked. 

He’d noticed recurring visits from Phasma and her redhead friend over the weeks too. Always during the quiet lull in between rush shifts, which was odd as Phasma usually preferred to come in the evenings, often helping him kick out any stragglers when he closed up, but he didn’t question it. They’d come in at least every few days, they would order food (usually with Phasma recommending something to Hux), eat and then go off to an appointment. He still didn’t know what these appointments were, wondering if there was something he was missing, but he didn’t quite want to pry either. The guy tipped generously, so he wasn’t about to start complaining, even if he hadn’t gotten a proper chance to talk to Phasma in that time.

On this day in particular, the heat had been sweltering. Phasma and Hux had come in as usual, the dinner time rush had happened after they’d left and the evening was quiet, likely a mixture of the height and the time of week. He’d already sent Amaro home, unable to justify keeping the kid on any longer when there was pretty much no one in the bar, especially with the heat. Quite honestly, he was debating just closing up. He’d already wiped down all the tables, cleared away all the glasses and totalled up the register. Pursing his lips for a moment, he glanced around before nodding. Yeah, he would close up early tonight and go lie in a bath of cold water or something of the sort. Clicking his tongue, he slipped out from behind the bar and went to shut the door, only to have a familiar blonde slide in just before he locked it.

A sigh.

He locked the door anyway.

When he turned back around, Phasma had already helped herself to a bottle of beer and was perched at the bar with a smirk on her face, watching him back. 

One wouldn’t hurt.

Crossing the gap in three strides, he grabbed a bottle for himself before taking a seat. The coolness was refreshing at least, and for a moment they drank in companionable silence before finally Phasma set down her bottle and turned to him.

“So, what do you think of Hux?”

Kylo blinked, a little startled by her forwardness after a considerable length of time without it. Then again, Phasma had never been the sort to mince her words. It was one of the things he had always liked about her. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind (even if her mind was calling him a shithead) and she didn’t sugar coat things. If she thought his idea for a menu design looked stupid, she told him, and she was usually right. She’d given him some valuable advice over the few years they’d known each other, and he had to admit, he always did look forward to their conversations. 

Chewing on his lower lip, he thought for a moment. What did he think of Hux? Truth be told, beyond the brief interactions when he’d been taking orders or serving food, he hadn’t really spoken to him much and they’d certainly never had a conversation just between the two of them. Most of his knowledge of the man came from observing him from across the bar, which wasn’t quite the same. 

“I don’t know really. I mean, it’s not like we say more than a few words to each other at a time,” he shrugged, taking another swig.

“Yes, but I know you’ve been observing him. I can tell, you always get this curious look in your eye. Not to mention, you’ve hardly had anything better to do any time we’ve been in,” Phasma scoffed, looking him up and down with a sceptical eye.

“Doesn’t mean I know him though I mean…he’s polite? And he gives good tips, which is always good in my books. A bit jumpy, maybe, but I mean, if he’s military then that’s probably not too out of the ordinary? Especially as he’s just moved here. New place and all that,” Kylo shrugged again, feeling as if Phasma was analysing every word he said from the look she was giving him. He’d said what he thought though. The man had been the epitome of manners every time, only adding to Kylo’s mental picture of him being part of Downton Abbey, but he’d also been prone to little nervous tics and occasional startles at sudden movements or noises in a way that reminded Kylo somewhat of his uncle at times. Little things here and there, “You said you did a tour with him?”

“Mmmhm. Back when I was first commissioned. He was…a captain then if I remember correctly? A relatively new one I think. Afghanistan. I wasn’t under his command but our units were working pretty closely together. It was his second deployment I think. He had more since then though,” she confirmed, sipping at the beer and seeming lost in thought, her brow slightly furrowed.

“So…is he transferring or something? Or is he just here on leave?” He couldn’t restrain his curiosity, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She seemed to be mentally debating something, and it took her a moment of thought before she turned to him to answer.

“He’s moved out here actually…it’s not really my story to tell, but he got honourable discharge and wanted to start fresh essentially. I’ve been helping him settle in and get around, that sort of thing, especially as he’s not familiar with the area. I’ve got a bit of time on my hands at the minute anyway with leave, although I’ll be heading back to base in a few weeks for training and that sort of stuff.”

Kylo nodded. He’d expected as much, figured that she was probably taking leave and that eventually the visits would be fewer and further between. It was the standard way of things, plus it always made for good conversation when they did eventually reunite, with plenty of stories of things that had taken place since they’d last seen each other. As such the conversation quickly devolved in that, sinking into a comfortable familiarity that, combined with the beer, left Kylo with a pleasant buzz. The day had cooled as well, leaving everything considerably more comfortable than it had been earlier in the day, and for that he would be forever grateful. 

“Shit, it’s getting late. I should probably head off,” Phasma muttered, glancing at her watch, and when Kylo looked up to the clock over the bar he echoed the sentiment. He hadn’t even noticed the time passing, merely enjoying the company and the conversation. Not that there was anything waiting for him at home, except maybe a shower and the jumbo bag of popcorn he’d bought on the way home the night before…yeah, that sounded like a pretty good plan actually.

“Hey, Kylo?”

He looked up, brushing a dark strand of hair out of his eyes as he locked the register, shoving the keys back in his pocket. Phasma was looking at him with a slight frown, lower lip caught between her teeth which was unusual as he was pretty sure he’d never seen her uncertain about anything before.

“When I have to go back to base…well, I can’t guarantee he’ll be in here much, but could you keep an eye on Hux? I mean, he doesn’t know anyone else around here, and he’s not…he’s not the most social at the minute, but he could use someone to chat to every now and again.”

Kylo blinked.

“I…I guess?”

That seemed to reassure her and she nodded, relaxing slightly. Then the devilish smirk reappeared and before he knew what was happening she’d leaned over and ruffled his hair, giving him a tweak on the ears for good measure that had him batting at her hands like a cat and pulling a face at her.

“Thanks, Kylo. I’ll see you around.”

And then she was gone.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?


	3. A Last Supper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo rambles. Hux listens. Phasma is a little shit.

Sure enough, as the summer progressed and began to draw to a close, he saw Phasma and Hux in the diner several more times. He would chat with them for a bit, depending on how busy the rest of the place was, but for the most part, he observed, trying to figure out a little bit more about the elusive redhead. Phasma had been reluctant to tell him much more, saying that if he was that interested he should just ask Hux himself, but he didn’t want to seem like he was prying, not when their main interactions consisted of asking him what he wanted to eat, although they’d been expanding on that a bit. And so, he watched instead. He’d always enjoyed people watching and liked to think of himself as pretty decent at reading people.

The more he watched, the more curious he got about Hux’s reason for discharge. From their brief interactions, he didn’t seem like the sort of guy to just decide to leave of his own volition, and Phasma had said it was honourable discharge. Medical reasons perhaps? The curiosity was gnawing at him, but there was no way in hell he was asking such a personal question. Other observations bore other facts, like how, when he wanted to be, Hux had a rather dry and snarky wit about him that had actually made Kylo laugh in a mixture of shock and amusement. The redhead had previously been so withdrawn and polite that it had been entirely unexpected, and even Hux seemed a little shocked that he’d done it himself, but slowly managed a small, slightly hesitant smile.

Another observation was that Hux was definitely still locked in his military ways, at least in the way of appearance. Where Phasma, when not on duty, enjoyed lounging around in casual clothes, with her hair sticking up in every direction without a hint of decorum, he’d never seen Hux dressed any less than impeccably. His hair was always combed and kept tightly in place, not a hint of dirt on his clothing- sometimes suits, other times more casual clothes which somehow were still smart- and his shoes always seemed to be polished to within an inch of their lives. He was willing to bet that if he saw Hux’s place, it would be equally as impeccable, clean and neat to military standards.

There were the nervous tics as well though that he couldn’t help but notice. The rubbing at his right leg, the adjusting of things on the table until they were neat, how every time there was a sudden noise or movement his hand would clench, knuckles going white at the tension. Every now and again he would appear to space out, lost in thought, and any time he took a drink, it would always be in short sips.

To be truthful, he’d found himself quite fascinated with the other man. He wasn’t particularly sure why, but there was just something intriguing about him. Maybe it was just because Kylo had always loved a good mystery, loved figuring out what was going on since he’d been a kid, or maybe it was something else. Phasma’s request that he keep an eye on Hux had encouraged it more. Even though the logical part of his brain had insisted that it was just because Hux was new to the place, that someone familiar would be helpful, the faint look of concern in her eye had suggested more, that maybe he would need someone to keep checking on him, to make sure that he was alright, and if that was the case then there would be a reason behind it.

But either way, he would have to be patient. He wasn’t very good at being patient, but maybe this time he would try. He knew that Phasma didn’t really like to talk about her deployments, knew that while she enjoyed her job, there were also a lot of things about it that were personal to her and he could understand that. Presumably, it would be the same with Hux, and he didn’t want to make the man uncomfortable by being nosy. A few years he might not have had such qualms but well…sometimes time and a bit of work could do wonders. Although as Phasma was quick to remind him, he was still a prick.

The dinner time rush had just subsided, and he hadn’t seen any sign of Phasma yet, so presumed that they wouldn’t be in today. Usually they held a sort of schedule, always popping in on Tuesdays and Fridays, with the occasional visit inbetween, but it was a Tuesday now, and the place had been deathly quiet in between rushes. He was busy wiping down tables, wondering if they’d get much business in the evening when the bell over the door rang and he looked up, surprised to see Phasma strolling in. Hux was behind her, and it made Kylo slightly proud whenever he saw that Hux didn’t look quite as uncomfortable in the diner as he had the first time. Still, it was the first time they’d ever been in in the evening.

“Table for two?” he smirked, slinging the dish cloth over his shoulder.

“For three, come on, you’re joining us,” Phasma all but ordered and while he raised an eyebrow, she didn’t look like she was going to change her mind so he simply shrugged, leading the way to one of the larger booths, calling in the drinks order to Amaro as he passed. The place was quiet, with no other patrons, so he had no real worry about the kid having to do a little bit extra. He’d give him a bonus in his pay this week anyway, especially with the extra hours he’d been putting in.

Sliding into the booth, he shifted the dish cloth off his shoulder and rested his elbows on the edge of the table, scratching the nape of his neck and raising an eyebrow at the two opposite him.

“So, what’s the special occasion then?”

“It’s my last night before heading back to barracks for training. Thought we’d celebrate with a meal, and I figured it might be quiet here tonight,” Phasma shrugged, while Hux sat beside her with a faintly troubled expression on his face that made Kylo wonder. Sure, he’d gathered they were close friends, but she was only going back for training, not being deployed, so he couldn’t quite figure out why the redhead might be worried.

“It’s on the house then. My treat. Besides, you’ve given me a considerable amount of custom these past few weeks, it’s the least I can do,” Kylo smirked, cutting her off before she could protest. It was the truth, they’d been his most regular customers, and with Hux and his generous tips, any time they appeared left everyone on the staff in a good mood.

“And I’m sure Hux will continue giving you that custom, won’t you Hux?” Phasma’s head turned so she could stare sharply at Hux. Credit to him, he held her gaze for a moment before looking away, his gaze dropping before he spoke.

“It’s probable. Although I won’t have the same means of transportation at my disposal.”

“There’s a bus stop right outside,” Kylo couldn’t help but snark. Really, was this guy too good for public transport? Because if he insisted on being chauffeured around all the time then Kylo could quickly build up a considerable amount of derision for him. To his surprise however, Phasma just gave a nod to Hux, pursing her lips in agreement. Really, there was something he was missing here and he was beginning to wish someone would just clue him in.

Once their drinks were delivered and food orders were taken, the conversation quickly turned to other things, like what weird patrons he’d had in the diner this week- which had included a guy with two stoats on leashes that he’d had to ask to leave, and another guy legitimately wearing a tinfoil hat- and how while Phasma had enjoyed her leave, she was also looking forward to getting back to training. That didn’t surprise him to be honest, and he had no doubt Phasma was probably an excellent soldier.

When Phasma briefly ducked out (something about a phone call? He’d only been half paying attention, vaguely distracted by the fact that at this distance he could see that there was some green in Hux’s blue eyes.), he’d suddenly found himself alone with Hux, a scenario that had never actually occurred before, despite how many times he’d been in the diner over the past few weeks. Chewing his lower lip, he wracked his mind for something interesting to say.

“So…uh…do anything interesting today?”

Smooth, Kylo, real smooth. Even Hux quirked an eyebrow at that. It was something he’d noticed, that Hux could say a lot with just an expression and without a single word. And right now, that expression was effectively saying _what fucking sort of question is that, you twat?_

“Unless you find doing your grocery shopping particularly thrilling, no. Phasma insisted that she needed to ‘stock me up’ before she left,” he answered, his voice vaguely on the side of scathing, but there was a hint of affection for the blonde woman there too, and what seemed like a faint exasperation.

“I can’t say that surprises me. I’ve found that it’s often better to agree rather than try and challenge her,” he attempted to joke and he was rather pleased when he was rewarded with a faint smile, a brief upward quirk of Hux’s lips.

“My kitchen would confirm that.”

“That aside…well, you’re more than welcome to come back here even with Phasma gone…well, of course you are, it’s a public institution…what I mean…ugh….what I’m trying to say is that I’d like it if you felt you wanted to keep coming back here,” Kylo sighed, pushing his hand through his hair at the horrible mess of words that had spewed out of his mouth. Hux blinked before nodding slowly.

“I…I’ll try my best.”

Before Kylo could respond, Phasma swanned back in, slumping dramatically down into her seat. Probably for the best, as he had the feeling that if he’d been allowed to talk for much longer, he would have ended up putting his foot in his mouth. At least now there was someone to guide the conversation and save him (possibly) from being too much of an idiot. An additional saviour came in the form of their food, preventing him even further from saying something stupid, even if a mouthful of food had never stopped that before.

By the time the meal was over, the conversation had switched to other topics and his waterfall of words had (presumably) been forgotten, which he was rather grateful for. He’d never been particularly eloquent with words but that had really taken the biscuit. And when they were getting ready to leave, he found himself almost sad that the night had gone by so quickly. Grinning he gave Phasma a hug (losing most of the air in his lungs in the process) before turning to Hux. Usually they just nodded each other goodbye, but tonight he was pleasantly surprised by Hux extending a glove-clad hand. After a brief moment of nothing, he shook it. Firm grip. That didn’t surprise him.

Slowly he moved back behind the bar, watching their retreating backs before cursing to himself and quickly scrawling on a piece of paper and darting after them, halting them in the doorway.

“Here,” he said, thrusting the scrap of paper forward into Hux’s hand, the redhead taking it with a surprised look on his face, eyes scanning over the contents, “My number. So…well if you need anything, just give me a call. I pretty much always have my phone with me.”

“Thank you,” Hux’s voice was soft, and there was a look in his eyes that Kylo couldn’t quite interpret. What he could interpret however was the shit eating grin that Phasma was currently shooting at him over Hux’s shoulder and he only just about resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her, bidding them both goodnight.

Well, it had definitely been an interesting day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference, the customer mentioned as having two stoats on leashes is based off a real guy I've seen at a local pub who regularly brings his pet ferret and pet polecat with him. However, as it is apparently illegal to own a ferret in California, I changed it to something similar.


	4. A Worrying Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey makes an appearance and Kylo wonders what he did to deserve his annoying cousin.

“You’re distracted.”

The statement was followed by a blow to his gut that only confirmed her words and Kylo grunted in discomfort before blocking her next swing and pushing her backwards. He was beginning to regret agreeing to work out with Rey. His little cousin had always had a certain ability to see through people, but annoyingly she tended to use it mostly on him and always in inconvenient moments, like when they were sparring or in the middle of yet another awkward family dinner. He wasn’t sure which he hated more, how she always seemed to know these things or how she always liked to spout them at the worst time.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Gritting his teeth, he doubled his efforts, lashing out here and there but within a few minutes, he found himself flat on his back and staring up at the gym lights, rubbing the back of his head. The one good (but also bad) thing about sparring with Rey was that she didn’t hold back. Which meant that she gave him a good workout and it was good practice, but more often than not it left him with some killer bruises and the occasional headache. As she stepped into his field of vision, the quirk of her eyebrows told him that she didn’t believe a word he said. Scowling back at her, he ignored the offered hand and pushed himself back up onto his feet, motioning for her to go again, but she shook her head, folding her arms across her chest.

“We’re getting ice cream and we’re going to talk.

“What are you, twelve?” he scoffed, pushing a hand back through his hair, only to receive a pointed glare for his troubles.

“Fine. I’ll get ice cream and you can just pay, given you’re such an adult. And we’re going to talk, whether you like it or not,” The look on her face told Kylo that there was going to be no arguing about the matter. He knew when to choose his battles, and this wouldn’t be one he’d win. Plus, if he outright refused, she’d probably go whining to his mother, and that’s not really a conversation he wanted to have right now.

She’s right, of course, he thought as he quickly changed his shirt, tossing the sweaty one to the bottom of his bag. He was distracted, and not quite on top form, not as he usually was. And it had allowed her to trip him up more easily than usually. But quite frankly, he’d wanted the workout to be the thing distracting him. Apparently, however, his mind has had other ideas and Rey was unlikely to rest until he spilled the beans. Ugh, he hated nosy little cousins.

The honest truth was that it had been almost two weeks since Phasma had left for barracks, and in that time Hux hadn’t appeared in The First Order once. He reasoned to himself that the man was probably busy, or maybe still working out the bus routes, or just doing other things. He’d call in soon enough. There was no need for Kylo to worry.  Inwardly he cursed himself for not getting Hux’s number so that he could at least check on him, but then again, he also didn’t want to bother the guy if he wanted to be left alone. Granted, he knew Hux’s address, but that seemed a little much. Maybe he’d never had any intention of coming back to the place beyond Phasma repeatedly dragging him there. For all he knew, Hux hated his guts.

Alright, perhaps that was a bit extreme, but he’d always been one for exaggerating things in his mind and making them worse than they actually were. As such, he’d been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed that Rey had been attempting to talk to him as they’d walked.

“Okay, now I know there’s definitely something up. You were spacing out _and_ you’ve got that concerned look on your face. The existential despair look that you only ever get when something’s really up,” Rey commented, looking at him rather sceptically.

“Ice cream first. Then talk.”

“Now who’s the twelve year old?”

As he’d thought, Rey told him that he was most definitely exaggerating the situation too much. Just because Hux hadn’t been in recently didn’t mean the redhead hated him. According to her, it probably just seemed odd given that he was used to seeing him every other day or so. It made sense, he supposed, but Phasma had told him to watch out for him. How was he supposed to do that if he never saw him, he whined over a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Rey had a peculiar look on her face for a moment, but it quickly vanished and he was about to comment on it when his phone rung.

Hux?

Dropping the spoon, he swiped at the phone, bringing it up to his ear as quickly as he could.

“Hello?”

“Hello, am I speaking to a Mr…uh…Kylo Ren?”

The voice was clinical, American and decidedly not Hux,.

“Speaking. How can I help you?”

Rey shot him a puzzled look. In response he pulled a face and shrugged.

“Yes, Mr Ren, my name is Doctor Andrews, I’m from the Physiotherapists Associates centre. Our files have you currently listed as the extra point of contact for a Mr Armitage Hux? I believe it was recently changed to you from a Miss Phasma.”

Part of his brain revelled in the fact that he now knew Hux’s first name, another part was rather surprised that he was a point of contact and the final part was racing with worry as to why he was being contacted. Was Hux alright? And why was his physiotherapist contacting him? Why did he have a physiotherapist?

“I see.”

“I’m contacting you because Mr Hux has missed his last two appointments with us without warning and we were hoping you’d be able to get in contact with him as he has not been responding to our calls.”

A feeling of dread had settled into the pit of Kylo’s stomach at those words. While he didn’t know Hux overly well, he certainly hadn’t struck Kylo to be the sort of person to miss scheduled appointments, nor to not answer phone calls.

“I’ll go and check on him…when’s the next time you can fit him in?”

“We have an empty slot tomorrow morning if that’s possible?”

“I’ll do my best to make sure he’s there. Thank you doctor.”

And he hung up.

“What’s going on?” Rey asked, clearly sensing the worry that was practically emanating from him in waves but he shook his head.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll explain later, I…I need to go check on Hux.”

He didn’t even give her time for a response, turning on his heel and darting back to his car, bringing up the address Phasma had given him ages ago on his phone. It wasn’t too far away. Following speed laws, he’d be there in fifteen minutes. If he pushed it a bit, he might make it in ten. Right now, he was feeling the latter.

He could only hope that nothing bad had happened.


	5. A Spare Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo goes to find Hux and discovers why he missed his appointments. Millicent also makes an appearance.

It was only when he got there (slightly breaking speeding laws but that was besides the point) and after banging on the front door several times that he realised that he didn’t actually have a way of getting into Hux’s apartment. Of course, there was the chance that the man wasn’t in, but his gut told him otherwise. He also didn’t think anyone would be too appreciative if he kicked the door in and the last thing he needed was to get arrested for breaking and entering. Phasma would be pissed with him too, it was her apartment as well after all. That was when the realisation struck him.

Spare key.

But what if she’d given Hux the spare key? No, she’d probably still have another spare, just in case. And, if he remembered correctly, she’d always hid the spare key under the random ass flower pot by the door, which meant that if he just lifted it off the ground a few inches…

Bingo.

He paused, key halfway to the door. What if Hux was just out? The red-haired man probably wouldn’t be happy about him just letting himself in. But then again, if he hadn’t been answering phone calls and going to appointments, something was up. He was doing this to check on Hux, he told himself, and to give himself peace of mind that nothing was wrong. Gritting his teeth, he inserted the key and turned, giving the door a light push.

The apartment inside was dark, the curtains pulled against the sunlight outside and the whole place had a vague musty smell, as if the windows hadn’t been opened in a little while. Nonetheless, it didn’t look particularly off. Some dishes were stacked by the sink, a jumper was hanging over the back of one of the dining chairs and there were a few books scattered on the coffee table. The sound of glass breaking startled him from his thought and he frowned, eyes narrowing. Bedroom? Bathroom? Which bedroom even belonged to Hux anyway? He’d been about to move to check when suddenly a ginger cat darted from one of the doors and over to him. Phasma had never had a cat as far as he was aware, which meant that she must belong to Hux. And apparently, she was quite indignant at butting her head against his ankle and nipping at the leg of his jeans, pulling it a little.

Was the cat actually trying to get him to follow her?

Bending down, he glanced at the name on her collar. _Millicent._ Of course, it figured that Hux would have a cat with such an old-fashioned name. Pursing his lips, he gave her what she wanted, pushing one of the ajar doors fully open and peering inside.

Hux’s bedroom clearly. Except it was a mess. The sheets were strewn all over the place as if whoever had been using them had frantically thrown them off. The desk chair was on its side and on the floor against one wall were the shattered remains of a glass, apparently what had caused the noise he’d heard only moments before. And against the other wall was Hux.

To be quite frank, the man looked _terrible._ He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days- and maybe he hadn’t, Kylo thought-, there was stubble on his usually clean-shaven cheeks and his clothes were haphazard and messy, jogging bottoms and sneakers and a t-shirt that looked to be three or four sizes too big on him. What was worse though was the way he was trembling, one arm gripped around his knees and the other hanging limply by his side, and his eyes, his eyes were glazed, staring at nothing with an expression on his face that seemed to mix all the worst parts of terror and breath-taking pain that it made Kylo start. Suddenly his mind presented a reason for Hux’s discharge.

PTSD.

Whatever happened to him during his deployment, judging by his expression, it couldn’t have been good. Kylo had seen this state before, although never quite as severe. He’d seen it in his uncle, in his grandfather (although those memories are hazy at best), in some of the people he’d encountered in his training for the marines, a training that had never been completed because of an injury and because he was sick and tired of his family attempting to dictate his life to him. Desperately he tries to remember what had helped Luke, what had helped those soldiers he’d encountered, but he hadn’t really known any of them well enough. He didn’t even know how long Hux had been like this, how long he’d been stuck in his own memories, horribly reliving whatever it was that he’d gone through.

Crouching down, he tried to make himself seem smaller and less threatening, a difficult task but he tried nonetheless. He was within arms reach of Hux, but he didn’t want to touch him, not until Hux had regained some lucidity at least. Keeping his voice low, he began to talk.

“Hux? Hux, it’s me, Kylo. Your friend Phasma introduced us a few weeks ago. I work at the diner…” There’s no response from Hux and he frowns. What rank had Phasma said he had? Major? That was worth a try.

“Major Hux?”

A blink. It wasn’t much but maybe it was a start. He paused when Millicent meowed softly and padded towards her owner and he froze. If Hux was trapped inside a horrific memory, there was a chance Millicent being near him might upset him. Yet the cat seemed undaunted, pressing her head against his hand. Hux blinked again, head tilting slightly with a look of confusion. Then slowly, his hand moved turning to scratch behind the cat’s ears.

“Hux? It’s me, Kylo. Everything’s alright, you’re safe. You’re in your bedroom Hux. You’re safe.”

He found himself repeating the words over and over, watching as Hux’s eyes slowly unglazed and his posture relaxed ever so slightly. Millicent seemed to notice too, leaping into her owner’s lap and nudging at his chin a little. He seemed to lean into the touch, bringing his arms up to hold her close and Kylo almost felt like he was intruding on a private moment. He didn’t want to leave though, the thought of leaving the man to his own devices seemed like the worst possible option.

“Hux?” he said again softly, and the redhead slowly turned his head to look at him, “May…May I touch you?”

Hux nodded and Kylo shifted a little closer, first just resting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing gently. Then carefully he slipped an arm around Hux’s shoulders, lightly pulling him to rest against his chest. The man moved with no complaint, merely adjusting his grip on Millicent, and in this position, Kylo could feel how his heart was hammering wildly still, breath coming in uneven gasps and the tension still in his form. So, he took up the soft murmurs again until he felt the man calm.

“T-thank you,” Hux mumbled. The words were raspy, as if he hadn’t spoken properly in a few days, and slowly he pushed himself up, stumbling but quickly righting himself again with a hand against the wall. He seemed to survey the room for a moment and although it was brief, Kylo caught the flash of shame there when he noticed the smashed glass. Pushing himself to his feet, he followed Hux back into the main living area, unable to stop himself from noticing that the man’s limp seemed more pronounced. Maybe that was what he was getting physiotherapy for. He’d heard of people having psychosomatic injuries, maybe that was Hux.

“I’m sorry you…I’m sorry you had to see that…” Hux said softly, leaning against the kitchen counter with his back to Kylo. Millicent was curled around his neck, like some sort of furry scarf and in any other situation he would laugh at that, but this moment was too serious. Biting his lip, he thought for a moment before he responded.

“You don’t have to be sorry Hux…it’s not your fault, it’s not something you can control easily,” he responded. From what he knew of Hux, Hux thrived on control, and so no doubt the fact that he couldn’t control this was a horrible burden.

“How do you know? As in…why…why did you come here?” Hux asked, turning to look at him, and the confusion was back in his expression, as if he couldn’t understand why someone might be worried about him, why someone might visit. There was more to this man than Kylo knew, but part of him was deciding right there and then that he was going to work on getting to know him more.

“Well…uh…first, you never stopped by the diner, but I figured maybe you were just busy, but then your physiotherapist rang me? Apparently Phasma changed your emergency contact to me, and he said that you’d missed your past two appointments.”

Hux frowned, “Wait…what date is it?”

“Uh…the 18th?”

“Shit. Shit shit shit,” Hux cursed, pushing his hands through his hair, tugging at it and Kylo immediately started forward, gently tugging his hands down.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay. I rearranged for you for tomorrow morning,” he reassured the other man. Had Hux been stuck in his memories for so long, or had it just gotten progressively worse ever since Phasma left? The dishes seemed to suggest that he’d been relatively okay at least for a little while. So maybe he’d forgotten the first appointment, or forgotten to cancel it, but then the episode had happened and therefore he’d missed the second. He didn’t want to pry, although Hux seemed at least a little relieved at the rearrangement. It took Kylo a moment to realise that he was still holding Hux’s wrists and he gently let them go, hands falling back to his sides.

“Look…why don’t you go get a shower and freshen up and I’ll cook something?” Kylo suggested, shifting to open the fridge only to find it empty, “Scratch that, I’m ordering pizza. Pepperoni alright?”

Hux seemed bewildered by the whole affair, but, to his credit just nodded before limping back out of the room, only pausing to deposit Millicent on a chair. Kylo watched him go with pursed lips before pulling out his cell phone to call for the pizza. Hopefully a hot shower and some food might at least help Hux feel a little better.

After all, it was the least he could do.


	6. A Discovery

By the time Hux emerged from the bathroom, the pizza had arrived and Kylo had cleaned up the broken glass in the bedroom, as well as tidying as best he could. He figured Hux was the type to like somewhere neat and tidy, so even if he was more of a clutter man himself, he would at least do what he could to help the man feel comfortable again. Hux looked exhausted, deep bags under his eyes, and Kylo couldn’t help but wonder just how long he’d been in that state before he’d arrived. His hair was still damp from the shower, and messier than Kylo had ever seen it, mussed and on end, and he’d shaved, the stubble now gone from his chin. Millicent seemed pleased at the return of her owner though, leaping up onto the arm of the couch so that she could nose at his hand, and Kylo watched as the redhead paused, scratching behind her ears as he surveyed the new tidiness of the room and the pizza box on the coffee table.

“It only just got here, so it’s still hot,” Kylo offered, gesturing to the pizza box, and Hux blinked slowly before sitting down on the armchair and reaching silently for a slice. If he had some complaint about the lack of plates, he didn’t make them known and instead sat silently, nibbling on the slice as Millicent rubbed against his shoulder. As much as he wanted to say something, to break the silence, he also didn’t want to make Hux any more uncomfortable than he already was. Or was him staying silent making things uncomfortable? Kylo didn’t have a clue and so instead busied himself with the pizza, occasionally sneaking glances towards the ginger. He seemed to be coming back to himself bit by bit, and he was glad to see him reach for another slice. Really, while he could tell Hux was more towards the lean body type, he also looked as if he could do with one or a few good meals. At that point, Kylo resolved that if Hux wasn’t going to come to the diner, he was going to start bringing food out to him. The guy’s cupboards and refrigerator were bare after all, and well, it would give him more of an excuse to check up on him.

“Thank you.”

Kylo blinked, looked up, noting that Hux was watching him. He’d finished his pizza, and Millicent had curled up on his lap, promptly falling asleep with her head on his arm.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“It wasn’t an issue, I mean, I wanted to check up on you and make sure you were okay. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Immediately he wondered if he’d gone too far, assuming that they were friends. Sure, they’d gotten to know each other a bit over the past few weeks, but that had all been with Phasma, and they hadn’t exactly had a lot of conversation just between them. The small, faint smile that appeared on Hux’s lips chased that thought away. It was a nice smile, and he couldn’t help but think how nice it might look if he smiled properly more, genuinely, as opposed to that little thin-lipped expression that half looked like a grimace at the wrong angle.

“I suppose you’re right. But still…thank you. For not…for not freaking out when you came in…”

Kylo shrugged, “I’ve seen it before…my uncle was an air force pilot before he decided to become a teacher, though he doesn’t talk about it much. And my grandfather was in Vietnam…”

His memory of Anakin Skywalker was fuzzy at best, but he remembered the tall man somewhat- or at least he thought he must have been tall, judging by photos he’d seen, but he couldn’t remember a time when his grandfather hadn’t been confined to a wheelchair. The war had changed him, his mother had said, changed him for the worse, but little Ben Solo hadn’t been deterred. He’d sat by his grandfather’s feet, babbling away about his day and occasionally receiving a faint glimmer of a smile or a pat on the head for his troubles. He’d been distraught when he’d passed away.

“And well…uh…I was in training for the marines…so there were some there who…”

Hux’s eyebrow had quirked at the mention of the marines, his form straightening slightly as he eyed him up and down, “The marines? You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Medical discharge before training ended,” Kylo shrugged again, “Never want back. Can’t say I regret it.”

And he didn’t. Sure, the whole thing had inspired a whole shit show with his family that had led to a six year disconnection and awkward tensions over Sunday dinner even now, but he had his own business, a decent income with enough to enjoy himself now and again and he hadn’t been arrested in over a year, so things were really looking up in his opinion. 

“10:30. By the way. Your appointment,” he remembered as he offered Hux the last slice. The older man shook his head, an uncertain expression on his face for a moment before he took a breath and looked at Kylo properly.

“Would you…would you be able to drive me? Phasma did it before, but obviously she’s not here and…I…I can’t do public transport very well at the moment…”

The nosy part of him was desperate to ask why, but given the state he’d found Hux in when he’d arrived, he guessed the two might be linked and decided to leave it well enough alone. Perhaps in time Hux would be comfortable enough with him to tell him about it, but he wasn’t going to push too hard. With how tense he was, he might snap under too much pressure.

“Sure. I can pick you up at ten? And I can pick you up again after or- “

“Phasma used to come in with me…but you don’t have to…you probably have to get back to your work…” Hux was rambling now, his face flushed and a faint hint of panic in his eyes, and not knowing what else to do, Kylo rested a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze Hux quietened, looking up at him silently.

“I can do that. If you want me to. I wouldn’t be opening the diner till after lunch tomorrow anyway.”

It’s a lie and they both know it, but Hux doesn’t say anything. Rather he just swallows and nods, and Kylo can see the gratefulness in his eyes even as he turns away, alongside something else that he can’t quite place. 

“You should get some rest…I’ll see you at ten.”

***************

The Hux that greeted him the next morning was dressed like a mixture of the two looks he’d so far seen the man sport. Loose jogging bottoms and sneakers, paired with a zip up, and he somehow managed to make even those casual clothes seem like a uniform. The bags under his eyes were somewhat less, although still glaringly present, and his hair wasn’t as slicked down as normal, a vaguely ruffled look to it. Through the closing apartment door, he’d caught a brief glimpse of Millicent curled up and dozing on the armchair, and then they’d been off.

The journey was quiet, save for Hux’s occasional directions, and it wasn’t long before they’d pulled up at the centre. The redhead had a somewhat nauseous expression on his face, but led the way, checking in at the desk before moving to the waiting area. 

“So…uh…you sleep well?” he asked, scratching the nape of his neck. 

“For a while. But I was up early. Old habits and all that,” Hux’s smile was tight. Kylo could understand that. He had his own little schedule that was difficult to deviate from, and for someone like Hux, used to years in the military, he could only imagine that it would be even more intense. Not to mention that he was pretty sure Hux was the sort to thrive when given a rigid schedule. He was about to respond when the doctor called Hux’s name, and, feeling a little out of place, he lumbered behind, awkwardly taking a seat in the room while Hux perched on the edge of the bed, tenser than he’d ever seen him.

“Armitage, how are we feeling today?” The doctor smiled gently and if anything, Hux seemed to grow tenser at the use of his first name. He could understand not liking names. Hell, he’d changed his own after all. 

“Sore. Tired. The past few days have been…difficult and so I haven’t been really looking after myself the way I should.”

Hux’s voice was low, quiet, and it all just made Kylo want to scoop him up and hold him, protect him from the world. He managed to restrain himself though, fidgeting with his hands in his lap as the doctor noted something.

“Let’s take a look at it then, shall we?”

It? Kylo found himself looking up, knowing that the curiosity was likely shining through on his face, only to notice that Hux was looking back at him with a tentative, almost nervous expression before he turned away and nodded, pushing himself to his feet. When the redhead began to push down the waistband of his jogging bottoms, Kylo immediately flushed red, before quickly realising that Hux was wearing shorts underneath. Of course, it made sense that he would-

Kylo’s thoughts stilled.

Hux was sitting on the bed now, arms folded tightly across his chest and the jogging bottoms now set neatly to the side, clad in a pair of black shorts. But that wasn’t what had drawn Kylo’s attention. No, that honour went to Hux’s legs.

Namely, the fact that while one leg was pale and skinny, like he’d quite frankly expected, for the other, the pale skin stopped mid-thigh, and from there down, it was a prosthetic.


End file.
